You should probably leave now

Dear Bossman,
So yesterday I know you were really ON and you made it to your 10:00 appointment on time, but then you called to see if I entered the address wrong (as it is must be MY fault)...and that is when I told you that the appointment was actually for today. Then you felt stupid...well dear, it is now 9:35 in the A.M. and it takes over 20 minutes to get to the appointment, and you just went into the can to take one of your long ones. Um...you do realize that you can set your calendar to alert you when you have an appointment right? That fancy software does A LOT. Also, just a little aside...when you type up letters on the computer you can edit them. Unlike a typewriter the computer has a delete button. That means when you print something it doesn't mean you can't fix it and then print it again. Not sure you were aware of this since yesterday you had me mail a letter where you used a pen to edit directly on the paper.

Sincerely,

The one you could ask to just edit it and print it out again

Why exactly did you hire me?

Dear Bossman, 

This is mostly a rhetorical question, because I can answer it for myself. I just wonder if you are honest with yourself about it. I was officially hired as an "Office Manager". My duties include (but are not limited to) scheduling appointments for you, answering phones, accounting, and payroll. 

I am however confused. Why exactly do I schedule appointments for you when you decide (consciously or not) that you don't want to have appointments "scheduled". It fascinates me when you are able to remember appointments that are not in your calendar (which syncs to your phone by the way), but when I set them up days or even weeks in advance, you never notice them. This isn't just an appointment a week either. It happens almost daily. Also, if you like I would be more than happy to enter these appointments into your calendar so that they read as 30 minutes to an hour earlier than you are supposed to be there, because while I know your time is much more valuable than your potential customers, they might not really take kindly to that knowledge. 

Today I even tried to do something to make your life easier. i scheduled those 2 appointments in the boonies close together, that way you wouldn't have to make that drive twice! See? That was pretty fucking awesome of me. Sadly you left the office (which is 45 minutes from the first appointment) 11 minutes AFTER you were supposed to be there, and you completely spaced about the second and came back here. I had to deal with both of these "potential" customers on the phone, and while I recognize that is my job, I really detest having to make up stories about why you don't seem to care about running your business. 

Just to reiterate. You have a calendar, you know how to use this calendar as you were the one to show me how to do it (even though I had already been using that software for years) which I first got the job. Stop using the excuse about needing to re-boot so it syncs. Just do it.

Check your calendar...or set up alarms...SOMETHING. 

That is all for right now, but there will be more tomorrow. I know I can count on you for that. 

Signed,

The one who deals with your shit a whole lot more than your wife does